Update, no video blog. Sorry readers.

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There are a couple of issues I feel that should be addressed. First off, the video blog I’ve been claiming that I would put together on the I-phone. Well due to the lack of processor power and the video editing software crashing, when I have the audacity to attempt to used it. Really, when ever I attempt to render the video into a certain format, it manages to get about 8% through before crashing. Screaming for more memory, apparently it isn’t impressed with the 2 gigs I have. It screams at me like a apathetic hooker that demands more money after she’s taken her socks off.

I thus beg for your humble forgiveness Tech Noir Readers.

I am ashamed to say this, to the readers. However it seems that the PC that has served me these last couple of years has started to give up the ghost. No longer does it zip through boot up, not longer does it open applications faster than a click of the fingers. It maybe time to get my hands onto a new one.

However, due to cash flow issues in the Mcnab house hold it seems that is not a likely hood. Maybe some distribution company will one day offer me a branded PC to be able to do reviews.

Another issue, is that at the moment, I do not have much in the way of stuff to review. Sorry, that would be a lie. A lie of such epic proportions, I could base a election campaign on it and win.

You see, its not due to me not begging, pleading and even offering my self up to the marketing managers for their nefarious deeds. So until I receive items from one of the various distribution companies in South Africa. I will rather be taking a look at interesting things I find online.

I will also be converting the script I wrote for the iphone video blog, into a feature for the blog.

There is at least some people out there that want to know my final thoughts about the iphone.

Hey Tech Noir Readers, a quick update.

Hey Tech Noir Readers.

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while, but you see I’ve been a little on the insanely busy side of things.

However, when I do get a chance to get hold of the equipment and some free time. I will be uploading a video review of the iphone. Yes, yes I’ve been harping on and on about the iphone. I swear I’m not a fan boy.Its just that its the only item I have for review at the moment so i’ve got to make the most out of it.

So when I finish the video, i’ll upload it and allow to the be globally mocked.

In the mean time. Why not waste your bandwidth and watch a little.

Youtube has so much to give… So lets see whats on offer this week.

Ohh a Classic.

Ghost in the Shell.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

How awesome was that? Very awesome I know.

Caption the Pic… Game 1

Here you go loyal readers. Caption this picture.

Person with the best caption gets… well nothing. But they will get there caption plus the picture on the blog.

Crap! I left the oven on.

Can you come up with anything better?

I-Phone 3G is out… and so are the prices…

So the speculation of yesterday wasn’t to far off. It seems that the Apple I-phone3G from Vodacom is only going to cost you an arm or maybe your first born child. It seems that Vodacom’s pricing and data bundle is somewhere in the realm of insane, delusional or maybe sadistic dominatrix with delusions of grandeur.

According to the Vodacom website, there are an number of options for the I-phone.

250 megabytes per month… oh thanks. I can see that coming in really being useful, that one day a month that I feel like using the I-phone what it was created for, accessing the internet. Sure you could buy more data, that goes with out saying, but when you’re spending on average R700 just to hold it in your hand its getting a little ridiculous.

The business offers, prove with out a doubt what I said in the previous blog, that only rich spoiled pounces, criminals and politicians will be able to afford the I-phone. I stick by those words.

I-phone 120s package, with an 8 gig model is going to set you back about R559 a month.

Vodacom will force you to sign a 24 month contract. Bringing the total amount spent on the I-phone after two years to R13416. Remember you’re only getting 6gigs of data, 2880 free minutes and 2400 free sms’s in those two years. That my friends is what I like to call, a rip off. Do the math for your self and see.

The prepaid offer… that’s a lot of cash to pull out even before you’ve made the first call on it.

Vodacom seems to think that, if they ride the wave of hype and chatter about the I-phone 3G for long enough all those in the Vodacom boardroom can take an extra holiday at the end of the financial year.

Spending those amounts of money on something that, cant access flash video or data, unable to do video calling or even take photos at today’s picture quality. Just doesn’t seem worth it. But you do get a whopping 8 to 16 gigs of solid space, where you can store MP3’s, video and pictures of your bitter tears as you regret buying into the hype.

The tragic thing is, that the I-phone could be awesome. But reality is that the only people we will see with them are stuck up rich poppies and materialist pounces that have access to daddy’s credit card, listening to latest offering deemed appropriate by the MTV overlords.

Tips and tricks for better Internet searching.

Though your high school English teachers’ toes may twist, the vein on her forehead might pulsate and her blood pressure rise, its now globally accepted that where once Google was a noun it is now a more often than not used as a verb.

Need to find out the air speed velocity of a unladen swallow, Google it.

Need to find out the what the capital of Assyria is, Google it.

Supreme executive power derived from a mandate of the masses or from some farcical aquatic ceremony? Google it.

However, it seems that as days go by and technology makes ever increasing leaps towards judgment day (Not referring to those wacky fire and brimstone revelations ), I’m thinking more along the lines of Skynet.

It seems that most people do not know how to search correctly or should I dare say efficiently. Though Google does generally find what you are looking for somewhere between the first and third page of search results, being able to refine and prioritize your searches is a must in todays information overload.

Allow Tech Noir to show you the ropes.

To get a better understanding on what you are doing, I have hyper linked some the examples, so that you can see what difference the tips make.

Search for a phrase.

Add “ “ to search for an exact phrase, using quotation marks around the text you are looking for.

Example: “In the town where I was born”.

This is good for people’s names, quotations, song lyrics and other situations where you want to ensure that words appear next to each other on the page.

Search including a word

+ use a plus sign for words that must be included in you search results.

Example: Nascar Car + Ricky Bobby

Search excluding a word

– Use a minus sign for words that MUST NOT be included in the results.

Example: Nelson Mandela Metro -university
This would give you a list of websites about the Nelson Mandela Metro but remove all the sites about the university.

Domain searches

domain: Use this term to search only within a particular website, or type of website

Example 1: Appletart :iol.co.za
This will return pages offering appletart recipes on the iol.co.za

Example 2: Reservists:saps.gov.za
This will return pages offering pension information from government websites.

-domain: Use a minus sign to exclude a domain from your search.

Example: iraq -domain:www.bbcnews.co.uk
This will return information about Iraq, but exclude any information from the BBC site.

Regional searches

There are nine geographic regions you can use to narrow your search:

• Africa

• Centralamerica

• Downunder

• Europe

• Mediterranean

• Mideast

• Northamerica

• Southamerica

• Southeastasia

region: Use this to search for a document from a particular geographic area.

Example: Springboks region:New Zealand
This will return sites from the Middle East offering information about Tony Blair

-region: Add the minus sign to exclude documents from a particular region.

Example: Bull Blues -region:New Zealand
This will return sites about Tony Blair, excluding those from the Middle East.

“OR” search

To find pages that include either of two search terms, add an uppercase OR between the terms.

For example, here’s how to search for a vacation in either London or Paris. Vacation London or Paris

Convert currency, metrics, bytes, and more

Google’s powerful built-in converter calculator can help you out whether you’re cooking dinner, traveling abroad, or building a PC. Find out how many teaspoons are in a quarter cup (quarter cup in teaspoons) or how many seconds there are in a year (seconds in a year) or how many euros there are to five hundred thousand Rand (500000 rand in euro). For the geekier set, bits in kilobytes (155473 bytes in kilobytes) and numbers in hex or binary (19 in binary) are also pretty useful.

Make Google recognize faces

If you’re doing an image search for Paris Hilton and don’t want any of the French city, a special URL parameter in Google’s Image search will do the trick. Add &imgtype=face to the end of your image search to just get images of faces, without any inanimate objects. Try it out with a search for rose (which returns many photos of flowers) versus rose with the face parameter.

For the best results, I would recommend using a number of these techniques together.

Now you didn’t get this from me, but… CLICK CLICK

Tell next time, this is Tech Noir.